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submission February 23, 2025 Score: 186 u/International-Exam84

Anyone else super lonely?

Anyone else super lonely?

21 F native New Yorker. I’m going to graduate this May, and I genuinely have made 0 friends since I started college.

Yes, I have coworkers, people I know from highschool, and some people i’ve come across. I don’t consider them friends, we only hangout quite literally once every 3 months at most. Honestly some of them it’s like we just mutually chat sometimes online instead.

I feel really out of place and so lost on how to make friends. It feels like it’s too late. It makes me really sad because sometimes I see mutuals or “friends” post about being at parties with their 8+ friend groups, going on roadtrips for weekends, or traveling together.

I’ve never had any of that. I have a boyfriend who lives 6,000 miles away who I met about a year ago while solo traveling, and I have 2 friends I love dearly but they also live in different parts of the states because we met abroad too.

It’s only New York. I studied abroad for 10 months and I made more friends than I ever did in New York honestly. I don’t know why? I feel so lonely here.

I don’t live in dorms and I’m a commuter so that doesn’t help. It takes me about 1.5 hours to commute to the city, and there’s a community college near me, but I don’t go there.

I want to know how the hell people make friends here. I know you can join clubs but I have tried and the ones i’ve joined are so incredibly cliquey and exclusive.

I’ve been offered to go out only once in a club I was in, and it was because the girl realized she needed one more person to get a free bottle for her friends from a promoter. It felt really hurtful coming to that realization.

I feel so extremely isolated and depressed just going home and studying all day. I love my 2 friends and my boyfriend, but there’s only so much I can do over the phone with them.

I really want to live the New York life and actually take advantage of where I live. I feel like I never have. I’ve never stayed out late or gotten invited to much, I usually go everywhere alone.

I’m hispanic and I’m not really someone with a huge personality. I feel like everyone in college have such a confident and strong personality where you can tell in their styles or they’re in a group identity with other people/clubs if that makes sense?

I don’t know where I belong, but I quite literally feel so distraught knowing i’m wasting away my 20s when people would kill to live here, and I honestly want to leave at this point because of the feeling.

I do have a ton of hobbies. I am a photographer, visual artist, birder, etc. I have had my work up in galleries/competition, but I honestly never got to connect with more artists as they’re usually with friends or family and I’m usually there alone :(. I also work for my university so I’m known by people but don’t have friends.

It literally sucks so bad. Like I wish I had someone to be like “hey let’s go to the club!” or “let’s go to the museum together and have a picnic!” but I don’t have that. I used to have a best friend of 8 years but she was extremely toxic and jealous so I had decided to cut ties with her a year ago. I feel really depressed.

I literally look at my NYU mutuals and sigh. Even then, I know so many CUNY students that have such a positive circle of friends and have so much fun. Like what the hellll

TDLR; Feeling alone as a college student as a native New Yorker who’s hispanic.

Any thoughts?

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